Monday, February 16, 2009

i am..

..confused about why there are always a million job postings everywhere, yet there are still millions unemployed. Surely at least some of the unemployed are a match for those seeking employees?

Apparently, there is always someone better [than me] to fill a vacant position. And apparently, that is definitely not the type of mindset to have. So optimism it is, and only hope-- no doubt, no pessimism, no fear, no anxiety.

Just hope.

Here goes.

[♥]

Thursday, February 12, 2009

california.

This one is for Lillian, so that there is something here tomorrow when she checks this blog again, as to not disappoint her. (]:

Dear friends, I have made it safely and without many mishaps to California, and this is where I belong! There is no other way to describe how I feel but that; I feel so much at home and very happy.

Long story short:

I got to visit with family, new and old, on the way and that was precious time I don;t usually get! I really enjoyed being able to catch up, make new bonds and revive the old. After all, what use is a memory if there is no one to share it with, look back on and reminisce?

The drive through Texas was just as long as the drive through Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama and Louisiana combined, New Mexico was pleasant and pretty most of the way, and Arizona was Hell. And Hell, my friends, is definitely frozen over, contrary to popular belief. Let's just say it took me six hours to go 95 miles on the detour on Route 66 (a large part of I-40 was closed), and I seriously had visions of me running out of gas, my car being hidden under a blanket of snow and dying a slow, cold death, after which the next morning, I would be discovered a frozen corpse by rescue teams. It was that serious.

But after I finally got back on I-40, it only took me 2.5 more hours until Loma Linda. Which is where I am now. Hurrah!

I've already seen and spent quality time with friends I haven't seen since high school as well as those who I've been separated from for only a short time, and I have lots of plans to reconnect with even more. Although I miss my Chattanooga gang, I'm happy I get to see my West Coasters!

I have a meeting with someone tomorrow that might possibly give me a job or at least help me get one, and I'm a little nervous but my excitement definitely trumps my anxiety.

Tomorrow is also Kaba Modern's tryout day at UCIrvine, and I'm going to go watch and see Cindy Minowa and hang out with Mike Song from MTV's KM Crew. It should definitely be fun!

That is all for now, but soon I shall post photos of my trip, and hopefully I'll be able to work on, slash, post my video blog of the trip. Because I recorded everything. Literally.

Until then, please keep checking for updates! But not too obsessively, Lillian. Just once a day should be sufficient [;

[♥]

Sunday, February 1, 2009

say goodbye and go.

It's time to say goodbye, to leave this part of my life behind; I am excited, terrified, anticipating, doubting, ready to rock, can't seem to let go.

I spent the last 5.5 years building my life around school, where I learned how to grow up on my own, created lifelong friendships, gained invaluable knowledge, and made unforgettable memories. The thought of having to do that all over again, without my 3 year roommate, without my bff, without a plan, without anything concrete is overbearing, but what is life without spontaneity?

So, here is where I will write my goodbyes to all the people I have grown to love and trust and will remember, at the least, for the rest of my life with an overwhelmingly grateful heart.

The roommates, a.k.a. my FabFour (I know there are only 3.. I'm number 4, duh):

Liolli-

You don't even know how much I'm going to miss you. I've never lived with any one person as long as I lived with you throughout college, and I would not trade that for anything! I loved how we just knew how each other worked and made things just happen oh so smoothly. All those silly things we laughed about, the silly things we did, the times we amused each other on those boring afternoons.. movie days on Sundays, Friday night Discovery Channel watching/ hair doing, you letting me sleep in your room forever when mice were taking over downstairs (thank goodness that house is gone!), crazy youtube video watching, hardcore Terry workouts, teaching me belly dancing, trying to teach me how to do your "butt pop," sharing wardrobes, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssss, "finger pressing into arm/ leg," laughing, laughing, laughing. Te quiero mucho!! You have grown to be one of my best friends in life, and I am so thankful for the bag of friends we became chips over (]: I'm going to kill you if you don't keep in touch. Sucker. ♥

Killy and Yerikad-

You are my other halves! Because I'm more than two halves (]: I'm sad we didn't get to live together longer, but I had such a blast and will miss our house so, so much! Killy, I'm going to miss your mothering nature, cooking for me and making me little snacks, your obsession with not eating healthy butter, offering Benadryl for all ailments, peach fizzy goodness in glass bottles, your random little thoughts and statements, Exercise TV OnDemand, your extreme reactions to all things in life, dancing in Italia, and so much more! Yerikurl,(AHAHAH) you are my home girl! Haha that rhymed [: Long drives to Miami, dancing, random road trips, dancing, a sip of cosmo, dancing.. haha. I love how you can adapt to any situation and just have fun! My champion partner in lazing on the couch watching movies all day or going out anywhere and everywhere at all times of the day/ night, talking about life, eating soup, and taking turns being sick. Eek!

One of my favorite memories with both of you is with the little orange orphan cat we were all allergic to but wanted to take care of and keep. Oh, and of course, Italia, where we bonded over such randomness, like pigeons and gelato and gay nude beaches. Eww. Thanks for being there for me when I needed to vent, giving me advice when I couldn't come up with answers of my own, supporting me in all my decisions, always taking my side, loving me at all times. I really don't know what I'm going to do without you out there by myself, but I know if I ever need anything, you will be right there for me, even if all you can do is sit on the phone with me forever. Come visit me soon my lovers ♥♥

My BFFFs:

David White-

"How the heck did you get light eyes?" The very words that began our friendship. Hockey game, piano bench, your greenish, sometimes bluish eyes, and my non-shamefulness. For some reason I knew we were going to have a special bond immediately. Cheesy, corny, I know, but you have to admit, I'm right! Basketball, movies, football, random Thanksgiving, drives to and from the airport, Mama Mia, swing dancing, the electric slide, Machu Picchu, the face, the world's smallest violin, long life talks, disagreements on love and whether 100% exists, consistency, your ridiculousness, our anti-socialness.. these are only some of the things I will miss!! You will always be my squishy! Haha. You'd better pick up the phone when I call you.. I'm really going to need some bfff therapy! ♥

Sarah Woods-

My Hollister bfff for life! I can't believe it took us so long to really become friends.. but I'm so happy that it happened! Our crazy adventures in the short amount of time we hung out has left me with so much more hope and zest for life; thanks for sharing your intelligence, passion for life, ambitions, and drive with me and inspiring me to do the craziest thing so far in my life! Your encouragement and support has been incredible, and I cannot wait until you join me on the west coast! I love youuu! I have no doubt we will keep in touch flawlessly, being the communicators we are [: ♥

Dearly beloveds-

Craigo-

You will always be my sqishy!! Haha.. thanks for being that big brother I never had through all the years of my college days and looking after me! I will miss making fun of you and being made fun of by you.. haha. Call me if you need help finding a ring (];


My twins, Amanda and Melissa-

Thank God for Camp Kulaqua! I will never forget the best summer ever, the first summer of summer camp and the summer we became friends! Late night talks with Iss, singing "Why" for tween camp, telling jokes to Mina's campers if they were good, bonding over camper woes.. Living with Iss for two months, dinner time bonding every night, Claire's visit, trying to get a minor with Mina but instead getting caught in the craziest rainstorm we'd ever seen, TMC visits, swing fest at Coolidge, and the best memory of all, spring break 2006. I'm going to really miss mi familia! Please keep in touch, and maybe our dream street, slash, island will one day come true! ♥♥

Nath-

You and Lillian really broke me out of my shell. I can't imagine what I would still be like if I hadn't moved in with you! That was a crazy coincidence/ perfect timing, and I had so much fun in that house, despite the ants and the mice and some of our differences. You really helped me along my growing up, and although I still have a long way to go, I would not be in this place if not partly because of you! ♥

Ana-

Kiki, I will miss my volleyball partner! Late night neighbor talks at camp, helping each other get costumed up for events, belly dancing, your crazy loudness and insatiable excitement for all things in life will be greatly missed! I'm sad we didn't get to hang out as much in the past year or so, but know that I love you and that the memories we've made are priceless. I'll be thinking of you when I'm playing volleyball on the beach! ♥

Wiggles, Emmy, DDR-

You will always be my boys! I am so thankful to have met such quality guys and developed meaningful friendships with you. Didier, even though you promised me you would see me off at Cracker Barrel and then didn't wake up for it, I still love you!! Haha.. You guys are awesome.. don't ever change! I'm going to really miss your goofy, eccentric personalities and sometimes extremely odd behavior.. come visit me whenever! ♥♥♥

And to all my other wonderful, amazing friends-

Thank you so much for helping me become who I am today! I know I still have a long way to go and have a lot more to learn, but I know I've come a long way since high school, and that would not have been without all of your influences on my life. Thanks for helping me make lasting memories and really experience life in a way I had never before, opening doors to new possibilities and exploring all sorts of nooks and crannies of life with me. I went to Southern as a timid, shy, uncertain little girl but left with a confidence I never would have thought I could have; even though I'm still a little girl with a million doubts in life, now I know that even if things seem ambiguous, something will always work out in the end. Thanks for giving me insight to life, hope, encouragement, love and unending hunger for adventure-- please continue to push me along the way if I need, which means you must keep in touch with me. Must. This is obviously not a request [; I love you guys and will miss you unbelievably. Come see me when you can! ♥♥♥♥