Monday, December 21, 2009
it's giving away all the change in your pockets, wallet and car, and then more than change because there are no more quarters, but wanting to smile more because that dollar or two might provide that shaky, chattering woman who lives at the bus stop on the corner of vermont and olympic her christmas meal.
it's understanding crazy holiday shoppers and letting one or two cars cut in front of you on the highway without circumstance.
it's wanting to share all you can with everyone around you without expectations of what you might earn back.
it's being thankful and satisfied with what you have, not that you can't aim for more, but appreciation never goes unnoticed.
it's cinnamon and ginger in the air, the smell of cookies and muffins and cream cheese frosting mixed in with warmth and the comfortable, cozy feeling of being safe at home.
home is only a few hours away, and i cannot be more excited! for some reason, this christmas season has a different feel to it, and i like it!
happy holidays, my friends. make it worthwhile, hmm? [;
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
On the way to work this morning, I saw a pudgy pigeon and a small sparrow bathing together in a puddle of dingy water, splashing around, making a great deal of their feathers and waving their wings about. [Where that water came from, no one will ever know..]
As I approached them, the skittish sparrow scampered away, but the phlegmatic pigeon stood its ground and warily observed me as I walked by. I felt the need to make a wide circle around it as to not bother it, but then felt silly for considering so much the feelings and irritable disposition of a bird.
Such is my source of amusement on a Tuesday morning in the city.. it's another sunny, warm, cool-breezy day in Los Angeles!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Monday + Caramel Brulee Latte + nice, sunny but cool weather = good start to this week.
Knowing this s a 2 day work week helps immensely [:
We decorated our fake palm tree in our apartment with ornaments last week; we felt it was an appropriate way to celebrate the holidays in SoCal where the prospect of cold weather barely exists.
Apparently, there is such a thing as a lifetime learning grant that is available from the government. Turns out if I really wanted to be a student for the rest of my life, I could get paid to do so! Amazing.
Also amazing: the difference between a 35 hour-per-week paycheck and a 40 hour-per-week paycheck.
There are so many ideas floating around, so much creativity, but there is nothing more to record, nothing left to write. It's a wonder how that works.. or how it doesn't.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
My favorite season of the year while in Tennessee was autumn. The days would become crisp, all the hills filled with trees would turn into brilliant oranges and reds and yellows, and for some reason, the smell of cinnamon rolls and blueberry muffins would intensify from the Little Debbie Factory. A hoodie was not required but was allowed if wanted, volleyball intramurals began, and thoughts of Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks lingered in the air.
I wonder if Autumn will come in Winter instead..?
Friday, September 18, 2009
Gummy bears: I now officially have an apartment in the heart of Los Angeles, to be shared by two apartment-mates for whom I have flown all the way out to Tennessee to help move/drive across the country. However, despite the mates and the new career, I may still have to consider surviving off gummy bears for the time being, until I can get settled in and feel secure in my new life. I guess I can allow myself the luxury of cereal too.. but it will not wean me off my addiction to stale gummy bears.
Corporate ladders: Okay, so my new job isn't exactly a huge corporation.. it's actually not a small one either. It's a small, simple organization run by 6 people plus a cart load of interns, but it's at the bottom on my corporate ladder. I'm exactly where I want to be, where I need to be at this point in time, and sooner or later it will lead me to bigger and better places, as in places I want or need to be in the future. However, for the time being, I am climbing, and I will have people groveling [okay, again, maybe not exactly graveling] at my feet, as I am the boss of the interns (]: But, more importantly, I have gotten myself the opportunity to make a difference, and to begin weaving myself my security blanket.
* * * *
I can't help but feel like time is going by too quickly, and I don't have enough time to spend with my friends and family as I grow up into my adult life; being back to my college town and trying to squeeze everyone into my tight schedule is stressful and frustrating, and I wish I had more time, or that I had had the opportunity to stay young longer.
I'm not even sure what this blog is about anymore; such a long hiatus from blogging has cluttered my mind full of incomplete thoughts and unexpressed feelings, and there's too much to say but not enough words.
But, one point is, it turns out I don't have to live stuffed into a closet, starve myself save for a few pieces of candy, or sacrifice my dignity/ambitions in order to get to the places I'm aiming for. Yes, I was willing to do everything short of selling my soul to the devil, but such extreme measures were not necessary because it seems some good is on my side, and has decided to take care of me, however last minute it showed up every time. I guess it's good for me; I've learned more about how to be patient, how to believe in myself and persevere, how to be even more thrifty and creative and crafty, how to take things in stride as they come.
I'm going places, and you don't even know how excited I am. Bring it on, world.
By the way, Tennessee is amazing this time of year with it's jungle-y greens and refreshing downpours. Every time I step outside it feels like I'm walking into a fish bowl, but other than that it's nice to be surrounded by everything I don't have in California. California is the home of my heart, but Tennessee will always follow close in suit. I'm sad I have to leave it again so soon, but now that I have watered my soul, I'm even more ready than ever to face whatever desert life has in store for me, if any are left. I'm being very metaphorical, just in case that part was vague.
to be continued [again], maybe.
Monday, September 7, 2009
the part about new stuff-- i have found a job, possibly a long[er] term career! again, what?! in this economy, i never thought i would find exactly the type of job i've been looking for, but after a whirlwind of events during a 5 day period, i was offered the position of program/development director at a non-profit organization called the *asian pacific american dispute resolution center. i really, really hate repeating that to people.. it's so long! anyway, so, i will not be going to law school anytime soon [maybe in about 3 to 5 years..], but i am moving out of loma linda [yes!] and into the heart of los angeles. i'm a little scared but much too excited to care!
that is the extent of this update; however, i shall become a more faithful blogger once again!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
go out and play some volleyball and hopscotch, or stay inside and play cards and video games [but outside is always better]! and take this time to be a good citizen of the world and donate any toys [gently used or new of course] you have around so that others might get to have some fun-time too! [click on title for more details]
Friday, May 8, 2009
That's what it felt like anyway. But that has nothing to do with my post.. just an observation.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Just to list a few.
My life is so consumed by these "social networks" that sometimes I have to stop and wonder where my real-life social world went. All of this socializing through technology can't be healthy.
But it's oh-so enticing; you can ignore whoever and whatever you want while feeding your social hunger with only the things you wish to expose yourself to.
Smart networking? The wussy way out of actual human interaction? Whatever it is, it's highly entertaining and extremely useful to talk about things your friends may not care about but other people will gladly read for the sake of keeping technology alive and much too well.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Do us all a favor and leave us alone! Go find something better to do, please.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
In order to get what you want, you must be willing to give just as much, or more. Time, free help, money, friendship... the things you give will be repaid to you.
But sometimes, you have to ask for generosity, for someone else to sacrifice a bit of whatever they have so you can make it in this world; it's a little scary, but people are willing to support others much more than we realize. Sure, there will be a few graceless individuals along the way, but those encounters will make you even more grateful for those who offer assistance.*
*Advice to self.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Apparently, there is always someone better [than me] to fill a vacant position. And apparently, that is definitely not the type of mindset to have. So optimism it is, and only hope-- no doubt, no pessimism, no fear, no anxiety.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Dear friends, I have made it safely and without many mishaps to California, and this is where I belong! There is no other way to describe how I feel but that; I feel so much at home and very happy.
Long story short:
I got to visit with family, new and old, on the way and that was precious time I don;t usually get! I really enjoyed being able to catch up, make new bonds and revive the old. After all, what use is a memory if there is no one to share it with, look back on and reminisce?
The drive through Texas was just as long as the drive through Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama and Louisiana combined, New Mexico was pleasant and pretty most of the way, and Arizona was Hell. And Hell, my friends, is definitely frozen over, contrary to popular belief. Let's just say it took me six hours to go 95 miles on the detour on Route 66 (a large part of I-40 was closed), and I seriously had visions of me running out of gas, my car being hidden under a blanket of snow and dying a slow, cold death, after which the next morning, I would be discovered a frozen corpse by rescue teams. It was that serious.
But after I finally got back on I-40, it only took me 2.5 more hours until Loma Linda. Which is where I am now. Hurrah!
I've already seen and spent quality time with friends I haven't seen since high school as well as those who I've been separated from for only a short time, and I have lots of plans to reconnect with even more. Although I miss my Chattanooga gang, I'm happy I get to see my West Coasters!
I have a meeting with someone tomorrow that might possibly give me a job or at least help me get one, and I'm a little nervous but my excitement definitely trumps my anxiety.
Tomorrow is also Kaba Modern's tryout day at UCIrvine, and I'm going to go watch and see Cindy Minowa and hang out with Mike Song from MTV's KM Crew. It should definitely be fun!
That is all for now, but soon I shall post photos of my trip, and hopefully I'll be able to work on, slash, post my video blog of the trip. Because I recorded everything. Literally.
Until then, please keep checking for updates! But not too obsessively, Lillian. Just once a day should be sufficient [;
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I spent the last 5.5 years building my life around school, where I learned how to grow up on my own, created lifelong friendships, gained invaluable knowledge, and made unforgettable memories. The thought of having to do that all over again, without my 3 year roommate, without my bff, without a plan, without anything concrete is overbearing, but what is life without spontaneity?
So, here is where I will write my goodbyes to all the people I have grown to love and trust and will remember, at the least, for the rest of my life with an overwhelmingly grateful heart.
The roommates, a.k.a. my FabFour (I know there are only 3.. I'm number 4, duh):
You don't even know how much I'm going to miss you. I've never lived with any one person as long as I lived with you throughout college, and I would not trade that for anything! I loved how we just knew how each other worked and made things just happen oh so smoothly. All those silly things we laughed about, the silly things we did, the times we amused each other on those boring afternoons.. movie days on Sundays, Friday night Discovery Channel watching/ hair doing, you letting me sleep in your room forever when mice were taking over downstairs (thank goodness that house is gone!), crazy youtube video watching, hardcore Terry workouts, teaching me belly dancing, trying to teach me how to do your "butt pop," sharing wardrobes, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssss, "finger pressing into arm/ leg," laughing, laughing, laughing. Te quiero mucho!! You have grown to be one of my best friends in life, and I am so thankful for the bag of friends we became chips over (]: I'm going to kill you if you don't keep in touch. Sucker. ♥
Killy and Yerikad-
You are my other halves! Because I'm more than two halves (]: I'm sad we didn't get to live together longer, but I had such a blast and will miss our house so, so much! Killy, I'm going to miss your mothering nature, cooking for me and making me little snacks, your obsession with not eating healthy butter, offering Benadryl for all ailments, peach fizzy goodness in glass bottles, your random little thoughts and statements, Exercise TV OnDemand, your extreme reactions to all things in life, dancing in Italia, and so much more! Yerikurl,(AHAHAH) you are my home girl! Haha that rhymed [: Long drives to Miami, dancing, random road trips, dancing, a sip of cosmo, dancing.. haha. I love how you can adapt to any situation and just have fun! My champion partner in lazing on the couch watching movies all day or going out anywhere and everywhere at all times of the day/ night, talking about life, eating soup, and taking turns being sick. Eek!
One of my favorite memories with both of you is with the little orange orphan cat we were all allergic to but wanted to take care of and keep. Oh, and of course, Italia, where we bonded over such randomness, like pigeons and gelato and gay nude beaches. Eww. Thanks for being there for me when I needed to vent, giving me advice when I couldn't come up with answers of my own, supporting me in all my decisions, always taking my side, loving me at all times. I really don't know what I'm going to do without you out there by myself, but I know if I ever need anything, you will be right there for me, even if all you can do is sit on the phone with me forever. Come visit me soon my lovers ♥♥
"How the heck did you get light eyes?" The very words that began our friendship. Hockey game, piano bench, your greenish, sometimes bluish eyes, and my non-shamefulness. For some reason I knew we were going to have a special bond immediately. Cheesy, corny, I know, but you have to admit, I'm right! Basketball, movies, football, random Thanksgiving, drives to and from the airport, Mama Mia, swing dancing, the electric slide, Machu Picchu, the face, the world's smallest violin, long life talks, disagreements on love and whether 100% exists, consistency, your ridiculousness, our anti-socialness.. these are only some of the things I will miss!! You will always be my squishy! Haha. You'd better pick up the phone when I call you.. I'm really going to need some bfff therapy! ♥
My Hollister bfff for life! I can't believe it took us so long to really become friends.. but I'm so happy that it happened! Our crazy adventures in the short amount of time we hung out has left me with so much more hope and zest for life; thanks for sharing your intelligence, passion for life, ambitions, and drive with me and inspiring me to do the craziest thing so far in my life! Your encouragement and support has been incredible, and I cannot wait until you join me on the west coast! I love youuu! I have no doubt we will keep in touch flawlessly, being the communicators we are [: ♥
You will always be my sqishy!! Haha.. thanks for being that big brother I never had through all the years of my college days and looking after me! I will miss making fun of you and being made fun of by you.. haha. Call me if you need help finding a ring (];
My twins, Amanda and Melissa-
Thank God for Camp Kulaqua! I will never forget the best summer ever, the first summer of summer camp and the summer we became friends! Late night talks with Iss, singing "Why" for tween camp, telling jokes to Mina's campers if they were good, bonding over camper woes.. Living with Iss for two months, dinner time bonding every night, Claire's visit, trying to get a minor with Mina but instead getting caught in the craziest rainstorm we'd ever seen, TMC visits, swing fest at Coolidge, and the best memory of all, spring break 2006. I'm going to really miss mi familia! Please keep in touch, and maybe our dream street, slash, island will one day come true! ♥♥
You and Lillian really broke me out of my shell. I can't imagine what I would still be like if I hadn't moved in with you! That was a crazy coincidence/ perfect timing, and I had so much fun in that house, despite the ants and the mice and some of our differences. You really helped me along my growing up, and although I still have a long way to go, I would not be in this place if not partly because of you! ♥
Kiki, I will miss my volleyball partner! Late night neighbor talks at camp, helping each other get costumed up for events, belly dancing, your crazy loudness and insatiable excitement for all things in life will be greatly missed! I'm sad we didn't get to hang out as much in the past year or so, but know that I love you and that the memories we've made are priceless. I'll be thinking of you when I'm playing volleyball on the beach! ♥
Wiggles, Emmy, DDR-
You will always be my boys! I am so thankful to have met such quality guys and developed meaningful friendships with you. Didier, even though you promised me you would see me off at Cracker Barrel and then didn't wake up for it, I still love you!! Haha.. You guys are awesome.. don't ever change! I'm going to really miss your goofy, eccentric personalities and sometimes extremely odd behavior.. come visit me whenever! ♥♥♥
And to all my other wonderful, amazing friends-
Thank you so much for helping me become who I am today! I know I still have a long way to go and have a lot more to learn, but I know I've come a long way since high school, and that would not have been without all of your influences on my life. Thanks for helping me make lasting memories and really experience life in a way I had never before, opening doors to new possibilities and exploring all sorts of nooks and crannies of life with me. I went to Southern as a timid, shy, uncertain little girl but left with a confidence I never would have thought I could have; even though I'm still a little girl with a million doubts in life, now I know that even if things seem ambiguous, something will always work out in the end. Thanks for giving me insight to life, hope, encouragement, love and unending hunger for adventure-- please continue to push me along the way if I need, which means you must keep in touch with me. Must. This is obviously not a request [; I love you guys and will miss you unbelievably. Come see me when you can! ♥♥♥♥
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I will keep posting information about what I am wanting to do exactly, but meanwhile, here are some things I just purchased with the money I've scrapped together for my adventures to come in a few weeks (and really shouldn't have spent, but this was a good investment, I promise)--
Yay! New red digicam (to match my (red)product iPod)..
[courtesy of amazon.com]
..an 8GB memory card friend for my new toy..
[courtesy of newegg.com]
..and a 500GB external hard drive to store all my fun and games in!
[courtesy of amazon.com]
Thanks to a new concept I've discovered called internet bargaining, all these high-tech electronic devices didn't add up to much, which I'm very thankful for. Everything should come in handy to jump start the beginning of the rest of my life (cliche, I know, but until I can come up with something more creative, it'll have to do)!
Please stay tuned and see what I might be able to create with my newfound freedom!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
I haven't felt like this since the second grade, when my crush gave me the biggest, most prettiest Valentine's Day card out of all the other girls in our class.
I never thought filling out any kind of application would be this exhilarating, let alone something that will get me back into school, but starting to take action about things I've been talking about doing for over a year has given me such a renewed sense of living.
Even if I don't get accepted to any of the schools or programs I want, it's still amazing to remember that I control my life and everything that happens in it. I don't have to succumb to what everyone else says I must (like keeping a job I hate until I find one I like) if I don't want to, and I can make whatever I want of myself.
Keep your fingers crossed for me and my life! Thanks friends (]:
[courtesy of sxc.hu]
Sunday, January 4, 2009
It is not a good plan, and it is not even very well thought out. It is beyond all reason, and I will quite possibly regret it extremely soon. But how will I know if I don't do it?
Quitting my job, just thinking about quitting the job I hate is the best thing I've ever done, and now that I've made the decision to do it, my heart will not quiet, and my mind is filled with chaos. I am cutting away my safety net because with it, I am not able to accomplish anything else; as long as I have it I will feel safe, comfortable, and I won't ever want to leave that behind.
I should find another job, I should get accepted and have plans to move to grad school, I should carefully consider the consequences, I should know what my next step is before I quit. But the more I think and ponder, the less I will want to act, so I have to dive into this.
Tomorrow I will put in my two-weeks' notice, and a new phase in my life will begin. I am completely ready for it, despite my uncertainties, so bring it on world, show me what you have to offer.
Ha, a fork in the road. (]:
[courtesy of google images]