Wednesday, November 17, 2010

something about one of those days..

It's always freezer-status in our offices.  Unless the A/C is broken, but that's another story.

Today was like any other day, frigid.  This sparked a craving for something warm and delicious, hence a pumpkin spice latte was the perfect choice.

I walked to the Starbucks about 2 blocks away from my building and ambitiously ordered a grande (I rarely get coffee, and when I do it's always the smallest size, tall).  I trek back through the city winds to my office, put my keys down on my desk and.... promptly spilled most of my treat all over my desk and its contents.  Not only that, it somehow managed to leak into all of the drawers and leave puddles in the carpet (thankfully, the carpet is getting replaced in a few weeks, so this was quite timely).

I go through about 1/2 a roll of paper towels mopping everything up and wiping pumpkin spice from all the electronics, and finally sit down at my desk and.. knocked the rest of the coffee all over my newly clean desk.

Seriously?!  Un-freaking-believable.

It's just one of those days..

Sunday, October 17, 2010

something about making decisions..

When I was a child, I'd thought that when I became a grown-up, things would be so much easier because I would be the one who got to make the decisions and control the outcome.

Now that I am considered to be at a grown-up age, I remember the time when things were so simple; times when my parents made decisions for me, and although I didn't always agree with them, I somehow knew that in the end it was for the best, and I would be taken care of.  I miss those times.

I am at yet another crossroad, where people are making their leave of playing their part in my life, and new people are making their way in, or thinking about it (more on this later).  The never-ending questions, "What do I want to make of my life?", "Where shall I live, and with whom?", and "What am I going to do?  What are my options?" crowd my mind and hang around me almost physically like a lingering fog.

In the end, however, it's not that I don't know the answers; there are just too many options, and I don't like any one of them enough more than another, hence making it difficult to decide on just one.  I want to go to law school, nursing school, art school; I want to not go back to school and instead open up my own event planning or marketing or design company; I want to find a nicely paying corporate position and climb that ladder like there is no tomorrow; I want to move back up north where my mother will feed me and love me and make me never want to leave home again; I want to return to Tennessee and be with my soul mates; I want to stay in L.A. and become a stronger person, a more cultured person, a more achieved person, a smarter, far wittier person.  How can I do all of things without making sacrifices I don't want to make?

So maybe this post isn't about making decisions; maybe it's about making sacrifices, how to pick the least of the sacrifices to be made, and then another and another until there's only one thing left on my list, one left to become my ultimate decision.  I wonder why this thought has never occurred to me before..

Friday, August 27, 2010

something new!

I've started a new blog!

It's a very focused, one-subject kind of blog that will talk about many micro-topics of this one subject!  I'm very excited because this might be the future to all the questions you have about the most all-inclusive thing in life ever-- Love.

Okay, so maybe it won't provide you with all the answers, but it'll be a place where everyone can share a story or five, ask questions and vent as needed.  Of course, you are allowed to just come and read posts, and leave comments and share the things you might learn with the rest of the world if you'd like.

It's only necessary, since our twenty-something conversations inevitably lead to relationships in some form or another.  It seems like everyone is either in a relationship, engaged or married, and those who are not in any of these categories are doing everything they can in order to belong to one in the very near future.  But, no one wants to admit it, so nothing gets talked about, and everyone is lost in their own world of confusion, turning in one small circle because what they know is limited.

So, let's share!  It's okay, don't be shy; let's have some fun while we're at it!  [:

Monday, August 9, 2010

something about illusions

the one with the books.. but $199 each? Even if they are fire resistant, it’s a steep price to pay |:

Saturday, August 7, 2010

something about lost souls

What you see when you look up from the entryway
I found myself drawn to the Lost Souls Café on this oddly displaced Saturday afternoon; it only made sense. Being surrounded by other lost souls increased the chances I might find mine floating around somewhere among them. My plan was to catch up on some reading, but I forgot my book in the car, and I’m too lazy to walk the distance down the little alleyway and half a block up back to where my car is parked. And my computer doesn’t want to seem to stay connected to the Internet, which is just as well; I’ll just sit here and gripe about my downtrodden life.

 Actually, now that I think about it, I don’t feel so sorry for myself anymore, or aimless; I’m not sure where all the exasperation, boredom, lifelessness and uncertainty have gone. Perhaps the other lost souls’ company makes me feel like I haven’t lost much after all.

As I walked into the café, a tattooed guy was sitting in front of the entrance; I would have guessed he was a bouncer of some sort, if I had been visiting a nighttime bar or if he wasn’t so brittle looking. A Goth-like girl clad in black, down to her exaggerated hair and fishnet stockings walked by and out, and left me to soak in the random yet comforting ambiance.

Halfway decorated, halfway left to look like an unfinished warehouse; a sticker covered electric control box, vintage-y, well-worn down couches, two miniature chairs hanging out by a slightly newer couch. Christmas lights in the far back nook behind the bar, near a bookshelf filled with games and books; an area that resembles a level performance stage (and by stage, I mean, just a little corner near the front), tiny green and white tiles covering the floor, a single white rocking chair with paint halfway peeled off; a few eccentric paintings here and there with some piled on top of each other against a wall, a random mix of music I may or may not have heard, and, the people.

At first there were only a couple here, two students there, and the employees. Oh, and the little old lady with the messy, graying up-do in a black floral chiffon blouse, a to-go cup of coffee, one of those nerdy rolling backpacks with hot pink wheels, a frumpy purse drooping by her right foot and a pencil in hand, furiously scribbling on what appeared to be a binder full of school notes on top of other notebooks and loose sheets of paper. Maybe she was writing down recipes? Just to add a stereotype… nonetheless, I wondered what she was doing, how old she is, and what her story is. But of course, although I can shamelessly stare at her and her surroundings in order to record every detail, I don’t have the nerve to walk over there and strike up a conversation; I think I’m more afraid of breaking her concentration from whatever she is working on than embarrassing myself.

The only view of the inside from the outside
Around 2:45 p.m., people started pouring in. By pouring in, I mean, the client base went from 5 (including me) to about 17. Such a variety of characters, from young to old, fob to rocker, model to, well, not so much; a black couple, a interracial couple, a small Asian man with a small Asian child pair; a couple in matching fedora hats, a lonesome girl eating her lunch by herself in a fedora hat; a tall, tall lanky man with long hair, tattoos, and lots of jewelry wearing sunglasses, a shorter, clean cut, boring man wearing sunglasses, and a balding man with a beard and a yellowing white t-shirt with no sunglasses who was even smaller still. Enter a 6 Tastes Food Tour bag clad crowd. All of them are at least slightly larger than average. Not ironic in the least.

The possibilities seem endless.

There was a blended iced coffee, whose frozen parts refused to mix with its liquid part and let it slowly drain to the bottom, and the not-so-delicious lemon bar that strangely began to taste better with each bite; and then there wasn't.

Definitely not a place to come in search of refuge from the heat; pretty sure it's cooler outside than inside at the moment, but it's not unbearable, and the coolness of the place, figuratively, seems to make up for the lack of the literal counterpart.

Secretively ogling people and gossiping about them to myself via my little Web book, a few run-on sentences and an experiment with multiple semicolons before a period later, I feel as if this has been an afternoon well spent.. my new favorite place to come and pretend I've escaped.

One of the scattered paintings, with other paintings behind it

"What do you have to offer the world that the
world hasn't already seen?"

Friday, June 11, 2010


World Cup!

Korea v.s. Greece -  June 12, 4:30 a.m. PST.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Something about bliss..

Home sweet college town home.. it's so blissful to be back.  Gaggles of faces I haven't seen in one, two, five years, familiar sights [road construction areas that have been in the works years before I ever arrived] and smells [the aromas of blueberry muffins and cinnamon rolls wafting out from the Little Debbie factory weaving their way through the ever-detestable yet endearing humidity], and the fantastic thunder and lightning rainstorms have thus far overwhelmed me with complete and exhaustive euphoria.

The plan was to leave early Tuesday morning with my BFF Jill a.k.a. David on our epic cross-country drive we've been planning for years, but a series of events led that date to change to Wednesday morning and then even further to Thursday, maybe Friday.. maybe never?  Secretly I'm ecstatic about having more time here, relieved about getting to postpone those impossible goodbyes once again, but dreading the day when I must stumble back into reality after we arrive in L.A.

I have not laughed so much, so hard in a long time.. maybe since the last time I was here.  The feeling of being surrounded by friends who will be my friends forever is a comfort I can't take for granted.  Sure, I have friends in L.A., but only one or two I can be this happy with.  And one or two cannot compare with 10, 20.  I don't mean to sound like an ingrate.. I just miss.. what?  What is it that I miss, exactly?  I can't place it, but I miss it a lot.

I shall enjoy it as much as I can while it lasts!